Sharing Sleeping Quarters with Children: My Perspective
Getting a good night's rest can be a struggle for some kids, and my family is no exception. I went through a real horror show of sleepless nights during my childhood. From the ages of four to six, I was petrified of the dark, convinced there were monsters lurking in the closets and spirits haunting the walls. My mother, bless her heart, tried her best to comfort me, even letting me sleep with a nightlight on.
As I grew older, the fear intensified, and I would have panic attacks before bed and occasional meltdowns throughout the night. I'd tap softly on my parents' door, desperate for solace, but they thought I was too big to share their bed. My mother sometimes allowed me to sleep on a mattress next to theirs, but my dad grew increasingly frustrated with my constant disrupting their rest.
Since I was considered a whiny, pathetic case of separation anxiety by my father, they took me to a child psychologist. The advice I received? Tough love. They set strict bedtimes, fed me warm milk, and drilled self-soothing mantras into my head. None of it helped. I still tried to crawl into their bed, but they started locking their door. One night, my father lost it and barked at me to "GO TO SLEEP!" and slammed the door shut.
Now we have three kids, aged seven, six, and five. We didn't employ any sleep training methods with our eldest. He was our firstborn, adorable, and listening to him cry was too much for me to bear. I'd carry him out of his crib and place him between my wife and I, content if he even made it through the night.
Our second child, a girl, was a tough nut to crack. We let her cry it out in her room, and after a grueling 45 minutes, she'd slow down to sniffles and eventually fall asleep. She now sleeps like a dream. Our youngest, a boy, had a rocky start. He was born in February 2020 and hospitalized with RSV just a month later, right smack in the middle of the pandemic lockdown.
Today, he's five and still tiny, like a newborn. The three of us usually share a bed, and my wife and I are okay with that. Sharing our bed makes us feel closer, especially since he tends to have seizures at night. Sleep training can be a challenge for kids with anxiety, but we've learned to be sensitive and patient. We'll keep being there for him, every step of the way.
Disclaimer: Sleep training methods can have complex effects on children with anxiety disorders. To ensure the best approach for your child, it's crucial to consider their specific needs. If your child has a diagnosed anxiety disorder, consult a healthcare professional or a child psychologist for customized advice. Balancing support and independence while allowing the child to develop self-soothing skills is key to managing anxiety during sleep training.
- Although sleep training methods might have been ineffective for my case of childhood anxiety, we've found a balance in sharing our bed with our youngest, who still has seizures at night, promoting a sense of closeness and ensuring support during his development.
- Incorporating elements of wellness and lifestyle into our family dynamics, we've adopted a sensitive and patient approach when it comes to our children's sleep, understanding that sleep training can be challenging for kids with anxiety.
- Transitioning from my family's struggles with sleep during my childhood to the home-and-garden environment we've created for our own kids, I now appreciate the importance of creating a serene sleeping space conducive to restful relationships in our household.
